craigslist> paramus nj> for sale > musical instruments – by owner
Four Star Titanium Rape Whistle $3 bucks (Paramus New Jersey)
Works great! Only played one year in a high school marching band. And boy, this thing blows like the wind- but it’ll make sure you’ll never have to! I bought it originally because I couldn’t afford a clarinet but after I saved up and bought my clarinet I realized I have no use for this. Did you know a girl playing a clarinet is the opposite of a rape whistle? That’s what the guys in my class told me, anyway.
You can come by and see it on Sunday between 1pm and 1:15 pm, that’s my only available free time. And I do not intend to haggle, price is firm. I’ve cleaned most of the spit out, but I’m not entirely sure.
Hey, you know what’s funny? The rape whistle has a sad face, do you see that? Huh, I’m just noticing that now after playing for a year. It has no eyes, though.
Please do not contact me with any weird offers. I DO NOT want to “blow your whistle” Chris! I know those messages are from you, Jerk.
Cash or the sheet music to the theme from “Full House” are the only payments I’ll accept for my rape whistle.
I have no phone, but for those 15 minutes on Sunday I’ll be standing outside my house if you want to buy it. Unfortunately I can’t tell you where I live.
Thanks!
BOURGEOIS ALIEN 