10 Totally True Things You Didn’t Know About Justin Trudeau

Oh, Canada…you do have the most brilliant, handsome, and athletic world leader, don’t you? Justin Trudeau can do anything- the toughest yoga while casually talking politics, masterfully discuss quantum computing, and transition to French effortlessly during any conversation. But there’s more- my research revealed some truly astonishing facts about Canada’s dreamy Prime Minister.

Here are 10 things about Justin Trudeau you may not have known:

1.) Justin Trudeau can speak the language of Dolphins. He’s had several meetings with them and intends to make Canada the first country with a solely dolphin parliament by 2020.

2.) By the time Justin was 2, he was done with college. At 3, he invented the first personal PC for IBM. By 4, he had discovered how to bend space time and visited other galaxies.

3.) He invented the Hot Pocket. He later apologized.

4.) He plays King Kong in the newest film. Without any special effects or costumes. As a yogi master, he simply wills the audience to see him however he intends.

5.) As a seasoned time traveler, he not only built Stonehenge, but he’s also built: Future Stonehedge: An Amusement Park for Cats. 

6.) He’s close friends with Stephen Hawking and often introduces him as “My stupid friend, Steve-O.”

7.) He built the lost city of Atlantis and spends his summer there, as he is also able to breathe underwater with his super evolved Trudeau-gills. 

8.) He’s not just a pretty face. He’s fucken skilled too. Justin Trudeau is able to bring a woman to orgasm just by making eye contact.

9.) He’s already made first contact with the first alien life form to visit earth. He hasn’t introduced them to the rest of humanity because quote, “After meeting me, the rest will be a real let down. Amiright? Up top!? You just got Trudeaud!”

10.) Justin Trudeau is a Brony. He has every My Little Pony ever made and if you ask him about his collection he blushes like a school girl, but with like,  ZERO embarrassment, eh.


Justin Trudeau
Justin Trudeau



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